Finding your soul mate
Sure, we all dream about meeting the right person, the one that we are meant to be with forever. Dreaming about it is all fun and easy, but the real question is, where do you find this soul mate of yours? Fate? Well yes, if you believe in fate, then yes, it will have something to do with it, but not without effort on your part. Fate needs you to give it direction so that as a team, you can find the person you have always wanted as a part of your life.
The first thing you have to do before finding your soul mate, is finding yourself. What qualities are important to you? What are your morels and beliefs? How do you show your affection and how do you expect it to be presented to you? These are questions necessary for you to ask yourself before going out there. Giving an interview to yourself will make things clearer of what type of person you are really looking for, instead of just going on a blind search.
It is very common for a person to date people just for “dating”. While “dating” is a fun and useful experience, it is not advisable to just go out with anyone just to have a date, or enter a relationship because you do not want to be alone. When you go out on a date, it is important that you use that date as an opportunity to observe and see if the person is someone you would like to see again and if they carry the qualities you are looking for. For example, if you are searching for a person who is in touch with his/her romantic side, but go on a date with someone who likes acting rough at baseball games and loves hunting, then you could pretty much see where the relationship would go. You should be able to sense these qualities after a few dates.
Once you have realized that these dates will not lead to a relationship you have dreamed of, then obviously the person is not your dream mate either, and it would be best if you stop seeing each other to prevent any misleading expectations. Continuing to date someone just because you entered a comfort zone or do not want to hurt their feelings will only hold you back from meeting who you are really meant to be with, not to mention was waste precious time for both you and your date’s. Gently break it to him or her that you find them to be a very interesting and nice person, but you feel like going solo for a while and then move on.
Tracking down your soul mate will require patience, so do not feel frustrated or hopeless if you do not find him or her in a certain amount of time. Good things take time to be brought together and you will come together when the time is right. The time becomes right when you look out for the right signs. Such signs would be:
1. Being strongly attracted to each other’s personalities.
2. Having common interests.
3. Sharing the same values.
4. Major respect for one another.
5. Someone who makes you feel truly special and worthy.
6. Someone who puts in a great effort to show you their passion for you and the things that is important in your life.
7. Meeting on the same emotional levels.
These are some major and important signs to look out for when trying to track down your soul mate. It will not be difficult to realize because you will know when things are right and the way you want it. When you have found such a person, it is good for you to remember to take things one-step at a time. Sometimes people jump in too fast and end up getting hurt or realizing they jumped to conclusions a little too soon. Take it slow and observe how things are going. See if the person who seems to be perfect in every way for you, remains to carry the same qualities as the relationship proceeds.
When time has proven that the two of you are truly compatible in ways you have always dreamed of, then the relationship may go to the next level and the two of you can make a serious commitment and start the focusing on building a future together. Like before, it is important that you pay attention to how you handle a commitment together and if you both agree on what kind of future the two of have in mind. Staying on the same levels is a huge sign that you are with right person.
Finding your soul mate will the best accomplishment you will ever make, but it doesn’t stop there. Finding the right person is just the beginning. Keeping the right person takes work too, on both your parts. The two of you will have to continue valuing each other for the rest of your lives, respecting each other’s individuality and dreams. Refresh your memory of how the two of were brought together and why you both decided to make a commitment to one another. As long as you keep the magic between you alive, your relationship will continue to grow the love and care you both never imagined could ever happen to you!
Now, let’s talk about the keeping the relationship.
They say all human wisdom is summed up in two words- wait and hope. Unfortunately, sometimes waiting seems to be the hardest thing for us to do. This part of the article advice you how to be together for a long time?
First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course (both sides count)
Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought you the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort.
Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other every day, or something else. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time.
Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship)
Honesty is also at the top of every one’s list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.
Source: "Lectures about Moral Values" book. Author Robert Bibi
